


Dandelion

by Heather



Category: Firefly
Genre: Angst, Childbirth, Gen, Post-Canon, Pregnancy, Prompt Fic, Schmoop, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-29
Updated: 2007-07-29
Packaged: 2017-10-08 03:55:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/72438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Heather/pseuds/Heather





	Dandelion

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bitter_crimson (Krim)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Krim/gifts).



  
The first day they stepped off _Serenity_ and into what would be their new homestead, River immediately wriggled out of her boots to walk barefoot in the mud. Simon shook his head and tried to call an admonishment after her, but Kaylee laughed and shook her head.

"Let her be. It makes her happy." She said.

If anything could be said for Kaylee, it was that she knew her audience. Simon could stop trying to make River happy as easily as he could cut off his legs and wear them as a hat.

He watched River survey their land like a farmer--or, rather, like a goddess of the field. She stood stock still, looking surprisingly tall and imposing for being just his tiny little sister, and toed the earth as if she had waited all her life to squelch about in the dirt.

"This is a good place." She said thoughtfully, with a serene smile. She bent at her waist and plucked a dandelion out of the ground, swinging it through the air and watching the little seeds scatter on the wind with a look of wonder. "This is a really good place."

Simon couldn't remember if River had ever seen a dandelion before.

\--

Simon was hopeless at working on the house. No matter how many times the others made the comparison, carpentry and medicine were really completely different things. He ended up spending a lot of time standing around uselessly while Kaylee did most of the work--occasionally with Jayne or the captain, if they happened to stop by planetside--and while River sat studiously by, ever ready to hand over the necessary tools before anyone asked her to. To ease his conscience, Simon spent more time getting to know their neighbors. It would come in handy once he got his practice started.

He made the rounds from dawn until dusk, mostly just chatting, but occasionally treating a farm injury or a sick child. It felt good to come home in the evenings, his house a little more complete than it was when he left, and both of his "womenfolk" (as Jayne called them) rushing over to hug him, smear him with dirt and sawdust, and question him endlessly about his day.

Night would come and Simon would sit up on the roof of the barn--Kaylee could sleep in the hayloft while the house was under construction just fine, but it was taking Simon much longer to get used to--and River would climb up and sit by him.

"They're pretty, aren't they?" She asked him of the stars. "Little suns. That one's Alphard." She pointed up. "And over there's Romulus. His brother's somewhere close by."

Simon didn't know enough about astronomy to know if she was accurate or just making it all up, but he put an arm around her shoulders anyway. Kissed her forehead and smiled.

"I want to go back to them someday." River said. "Just not now. You'll need me when the baby comes." And with that startling statement, she kissed his cheek and went back inside.

Simon stayed on the roof and watched the stars.

\--

River was proven right within weeks. Sometime while Simon was away, making his rounds once more, Kaylee fainted in the middle of insulating the roof. It was sheer luck that it happened to be during one of the times the crew was visiting, so that Mal was there to catch her. Simon felt guilty for months.

He held Kaylee's hand when he got home. She was in one of her stubborn places, rolling her eyes and insisting she was fine, wanting to go straight back to work. No one around her would hear of it.

"No, I'm thinkin' you could use a bit of a hand around here, little Kaylee." Mal said as they ate dinner at her bedside. "We talked it over and Zoe's going to stay with you and the good doctor for a while, until you've seen this through."

"I ain't _dyin'_, Cap'n." Kaylee said with a roll of her eyes.

"No, just knocked up." Jayne chortled, then elbowed Simon. "Guess you're good for somethin' after all, eh, doc?"

Simon tried very hard to smile. It didn't work, but nobody really noticed. Everyone but River had eyes only for Kaylee.

River crouched beside him, resting her chin on his knee. "Don't worry." She said with a smile. "It's all going to be perfect."

\--

Simon spent less time out and about, more time being useless at his future home. Kaylee worked happily, cheerfully singing to herself as she hammered in nails and sawed at two-by-fours. Zoe worked mostly in silence, doing the heavy lifting that Kaylee was no longer allowed to do. When it came time to paint the house, Zoe and River divided that task between them while Kaylee sat just out of reach of the fumes and Simon fretted about whether or not she was eating properly. She rolled her eyes and smiled a lot, putting his hand on her waist and whispering endearments in Mandarin. Kaylee was young and in love, happily married and glowing with the triumph of a first pregnancy. Simon was a nervous wreck. River brought them both flowers, making a crown of them for Kaylee and sticking several tiny ones in his buttonholes. Zoe watched everything, spoke little and laughed quietly to herself a lot.

\--

"The thing is," Simon said one day, "I don't really...know how to do this."

Zoe raised her eyebrows. "I'd say you did something right, doctor."

Simon was mortified to find himself blushing. "No. I mean--"

"I know what you mean." Zoe said in a more soothing tone. "You don't want to worry about that. It's gonna be fine."

"That's what River keeps saying." Simon bit his lip. "But--"

"Believe her." Zoe said simply.

"I want to. I'm trying to."

"But you're not. Try harder. It won't be as bad as you think."

"You don't know how bad I think it'll be." Simon muttered to himself.

Zoe rolled her eyes and chuckled. "Hand me that sealant." Simon did as he was asked, then looked at Zoe pensively, as if there was still some slip of logic she just wasn't grasping, because he wasn't explaining it properly. Evidently, Zoe could see that, because she looked him firmly in the eyes and said, "If you can't trust yourself, doc, trust Kaylee. Trust that sister of yours. Between them, they'll get it right."

Simon just nodded and looked over his shoulder at the women in question. They were blowing the seeds off of dandelions together, laughing and smiling, River occasionally bending down to whisper secrets to Kaylee's protruding abdomen.

Zoe has a point, he thought. What _couldn't_ those two pull off together?

\--

True to form, Simon wasn't home when Kaylee's water broke. It happened on the same day that a neighbor boy fell out of a tree and badly broke his arm. It took Simon forever to fashion the poor boy a decent cast, and by the time he got back, Kaylee's labor was well under way in their sitting room. She was screaming and cursing his name to Zoe when he walked in the door, her hands gripped tight around River's

Simon had no pain meds left on him--he'd used a sizeable portion of his store to sedate the neighbor boy--and ended up having to try and talk Kaylee through breathing exercises. Kaylee would have none of it. She screamed, cried and hit him a lot before shouting a lot of words he was sure she had learned from Jayne.

River smiled mischeviously at him. "This is the fun part."

Simon tried very hard not to roll his eyes.

Four hours later, his son was born. Kaylee didn't cry, but Simon did.

\--

Maximillian Tam was an almost unnaturally quiet baby. It unnerved the living hell out of Kaylee.

"Babies should cry." She kept saying. "Why don't he cry?"

"Some babies just don't." Simon told her. "River was a quiet baby."

"_This_ quiet?" Kaylee asked, an incredulous note in her voice.

Simon thought for a minute, trying to remember. "Yeah, actually, I think so."

"It just ain't normal." She said, shaking her head and smiling ruefully at her son. "You ain't normal at all, little guy."

"You're going to give him a complex." Simon said, taking their child from her to adjust his blankets and try his hand at burping him.

"I am not!" Kaylee laughed. "He's gonna be fine." She stroked the thatch of hair on their son's head and smiled again. "You're gonna be just fine."

"Just perfect." Simon said, thinking of River. On those rare occasions that Max did get fussy, River was the best at calming him. No one was quite sure how she did it. It was the same as how she did everything else: focused her attention on it and figured it out.

"Perfect." Kaylee echoed, stroking his head again. "My perfect little Tam."

\--

Max was already crawling before _Serenity_ touched down by them again. It was finally time for Zoe to go back, and everybody wanted to get a look at the baby.

Mal held the child on his lap and appraised him the same way he would something he was planning to fence for a fairly decent price. "Well, he's a lucky one. He looks like Kaylee."

Simon was getting used to hearing that a lot. "Yes, I know. They constantly tell me."

"Cheer up, doc." Zoe said cheerfully. "The next one'll look like you."

Simon and Kaylee exchanged looks, silently agreeing that there probably wasn't going to be a next one. River picked up on it and shot them a look of her own. "No more yet. It's time for me to go home now."

Everyone turned to stare at her in shock. River didn't appear to notice.

Simon chuckled uneasily. "River, you--you _are_ home. What are you talking about?"

"Not home." River said, shaking her head. "It's a good place. But it's not home."

Mal was the one to break the tense silence building around them. "You want to come back with us, little one?"

River smiled. "_Serenity_ needs me."

"River--" Simon started to say.

"No." She cut him off, shaking her head again. "I love you, Simon. And Max and Kaylee. But I wanna go home."

"Well, that's really up to your brother to decide." Mal told her.

"No, it's not." River said breezily. "Simon takes good care of me, but he doesn't tell me what to do. I want to go home." Each repetition of the words was like a knife in Simon's gut. He stared at his sister for a moment before crouching down beside her on the floor.

"River, you belong here." He said quietly, hating himself for the way his voice quivered as he said it.

"_You_ belong here." River corrected. "I belong up there." She touched one finger to his cheek. "It's time now."

"No." He murmured.

"Yes." She said in tones that would brook no argument. "Everybody's going away on _Serenity_ tomorrow. I want to go home then."

\--

It didn't take very long to pack up River's things. The sad thing was, she didn't have very many. River just didn't accumulate stuff the way ordinary people did. Didn't "packrat," as Kaylee described it. River made an impression on people rather than objects. People, rather than objects, made an impression on her.

Simon packed up each of her things on his own while she watched. Kaylee was busy downstairs with the baby, and with saying her own goodbyes to their former crew. River sat on her bed and played with the ends of her hair, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Simon's heart was breaking.

"You could've told me you were unhappy here." He said, unable to look at River, so it seemed like he was addressing a sweater of hers he was folding. "I'd've...done something. I don't know what. But something."

"I'm not unhappy." River said. "I'm just ready to go home."

"Stop saying that!" Simon snapped, harsher than he'd intended. "Home is--River, where's 'home,' if it's not together? You and me?"

"Different homes." She replied serenely, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We have different homes now. That's what happens when you grow up."

Simon sputtered incredulously. "What--y-you think you're grown up now? You're just going across the galaxy, into God knows what kind of danger, because you think you've grown up?"

"No." River said simply. "Because _you_ have."

"I--" Simon's voice cracked and his original argument went flying out the window as he was overtaken by a new desperation. "I haven't grown up. I don't know what I'm _doing_ half the time. It's--it's like playing a part. I haven't figured anything out." Simon looked at her finally, feeling helpless and stupid. "I don't even know who I am without my brat kid sister around."

"You do." River said. "Not Peter Pan. You're Simon."

"I feel like Peter Pan." He muttered, raking his hand back through his hair.

"Simon." She repeated insistently. "Always Simon."

Simon bit his lip, then practically leaped across the room, gathering River up in his arms and hugging her tighter than he can ever remember doing so before. He loosened his hold for only a second, to kiss her, hard and frantic, on the mouth. Then he gathered her close once more and whispered into her hair, "Please don't go."

River said nothing, but let him hold her as long as he needed to, clinging to her and stroking her hair, kissing her face and fighting back tears. Fight it as he might, he knew it was a losing battle. Slowly, he released her, and watched in silent agony as she grabbed her bag off her bed and headed down the stairs, taking her place with the crew.

Simon and Kaylee walked them back to _Serenity_, Max balanced on Kaylee's hip, oblivious to the fact that very shortly, his only aunt was literally going to be leaving the world.

They all called goodbyes to each other as they climbed _Serenity_'s platform, Zoe kissing Kaylee and Max goodbye, Jayne thumping Simon on the back as Mal shook Simon's hand.

"We'll take good care of her." Mal said with a sincerity that Simon might've appreciated at any other time in his life. At this time, Simon could only nod.

"Don't worry!" Mal called as he went inside his ship. River followed closely behind, stopping at the bay doors to turn around and wave. Then the platform folded up and the bay doors closed, separating Simon from his sister forever.

The Tams watched _Serenity_ start up and then launch, breaking atmo within a matter of minutes, then started the walk home.

As they reached the edge of their homestead, Simon paused, bit his lip and found he wasn't ready to walk any further. Kaylee, sensing this, smiled weakly at him and said, "I'll just...get started on fixin' dinner."

Simon nodded numbly, then took Max out of her arms. He watched Kaylee retreat inside before walking over to River's favorite spot on the lawn, the place where dandelions were coming in to bloom again.

He never remembered to ask River if she'd seen one before coming here.

Simon sat down in the grass with Max in his lap, reaching over to pluck one out of the ground. He waved it in the air, the way he'd seen River do so many times, and watched the seeds scatter on the wind. Max watched them as intently as River ever had, reaching out his baby hands to try and catch them. Despite himself, Simon smiled, then bent to whisper into his ear, "Your aunt's like them, you know.

"Just floating on the wind until she can find her way home."


End file.
